Existentialism for Beginners

Waiting in the delivery room is very moving. While supporting your wife and being as helpful as possible, your own thoughts “labor” incomparably around one thing: A new life is beginning. How crazy is that actually?

This thought already blew me away with my first son. Once again, someone can and must live a life like the one I’ve had so far. Back then I wrote:

Once again, someone gets to go through all of this: Learning to walk, falling down, getting up, the first kiss, the first love, the first major crisis, self-realization in career, the next crisis, installing routers, finding the woman for life, constant WiFi problems and everything else that such a life brings with it.

Last week my second son came. This time I went beyond amazement and wonder and thought about what one actually needs to give someone (their own children) to make the process more pleasant:

You cannot choose the circumstances under which you came into the world. But we believe you have pretty good ones. (We feel quite privileged.)

You also cannot choose how you are shaped. But we are trying our best. (We are very reflective, also in view of global challenges.)

You might think you could just accept this now and everything will be fine. But that alone is not enough. You will still struggle. Unfortunately, we humans are born with the freedom to imagine what or how else we could be. And we feel shame and anger when we don’t live up to this image of ourselves.

Well. That’s actually already the whole drama of existence. And even if it never feels like it: These tensions and conflicts, or rather how you deal with them (creatively), define you as an individual.

We can’t change it either. (But if you live in search of your answer, following your heart, while appreciating the love you find along the way, then you actually have everything you need.)

That’s basically the essence of an existentialist worldview. However, this knowledge doesn’t make things easier, it only explains them – in hindsight. And this reflection probably helps me more than that I can really give them something to take with them on their way.

But that’s the nature of the thing. Have fun!